Make Kids Make Progress
My kids have a daily routine. They don’t love it. They do it anyway. Here’s what it is and what I’ve noticed after a year of enforcing it.
The Routine
Every day, before screens or friends or whatever else they want to do:
- Make bed - Takes 2 minutes. Non-negotiable.
- Read for 20 minutes - Anything they want. Comics count. Audiobooks don’t.
- Math practice - 10-15 minutes. Khan Academy or workbooks.
- One chore - Rotating list. Dishes, trash, sweep, etc.
- Physical activity - 30 minutes minimum. Outside preferred.
Total time: About an hour. Then they’re free.
The Resistance
The first month was war. Whining. Bargaining. Tears. “But my friends don’t have to do this.” Correct. Their friends aren’t my responsibility.
We didn’t negotiate. The routine is the routine. You can do it fast or slow, happy or grumpy, but you’re doing it.
By month two, the complaints dropped. By month three, they just did it. Now they knock it out after breakfast without being asked.
What I’ve Noticed
Reading improved dramatically. My oldest went from struggling with chapter books to devouring them. Twenty minutes a day compounds.
Math anxiety disappeared. Daily exposure in low-stakes practice means tests aren’t scary. They’ve seen every problem type dozens of times.
They’re better at doing things they don’t want to do. This is the real skill. Life is full of tasks you don’t feel like doing. Building the muscle early matters.
Mornings are calmer. Structure removes negotiation. Everyone knows what happens. No arguments about what’s first or how long.
They’re proud of themselves. When they finish, they did something. That feeling of accomplishment before 9am sets the tone for the day.
The Pushback I Get
“Kids need unstructured time.” They get plenty. After the routine, they have hours of it.
“You’re being too rigid.” Maybe. But I’d rather err on the side of too much structure than too little. They can rebel against structure later. Hard to build it if you never had it.
“They’ll burn out.” One hour of productive work per day is not burnout. It’s baseline.
“Let them be kids.” This is what being a kid looks like in my house. We can have different houses.
What I’d Change
I wish I’d started earlier. We began when they were 6 and 8. Should have done a simpler version at 4.
The chore rotation needs work. Some chores take 5 minutes, others take 20. Need to balance better.
I also want to add a creative component—drawing, writing, building something. Still figuring out how to fit it in without the routine becoming too long.
The Point
Kids rise to expectations. If you expect nothing, you get nothing. If you expect an hour of focused work, you get an hour of focused work.
The routine isn’t punishment. It’s practice. Practice being disciplined. Practice finishing what you start. Practice doing hard things first.
They won’t thank me now. Maybe not ever. That’s fine. I’m not optimizing for gratitude.
Drafted by AI